:-(

Aren't we a pair.

I have looked on craigslist.  I think everyone from West Virginia hasn't even heard of it though lol.  Seriously most the jobs listed on there are those fake get rich quick ones.

I NEED TO KNOW YOUR NEW DIARY!!!

You're gonna make me go on a hunt for your new one?  Oh man ok I will try.

Fighting does suck, but just try to stick it out.  Things always get bad before they get really good and if things get worked out it will be totally worth it.

Maybe it really didn't mean anything to him.  Since it's not like they were holding hands, maybe he just didn't think about it.  But if it feels like he's getting mad more because he knows you are right.....then you could have a problem.

I'm glad you aren't offended by what that beeotch said.  She doesn't sound worth worrying about.

Yay!!  That is the cutest thing ever about him getting you that poster.  Awwww yay!

I think that is how a lot of guys are.  They just think that not talking about it means that it will go away.  Which is ridiculous.  And yeah, I mean the past is the past, but wouldn't it be kinda stupid to have gone through all of those things and NOT be cautious?  I mean really.  Don't think that it is stupid to think about the past when you should be paying attention to any red flags or behaviors that you noticed before.  And I can understand why you'd feel bad with him saying your age bothers him a bit.  I would feel bad too!  But he might have just felt like that in that moment, and it probably doesn't weigh on his mind all the time.  He probably doesn't even think about it most of the time.

And I don't think he is just with you because you were there.  It's because you are an amazing person.  And you were the right person for him.  Even if he was desperate, he would not want you with him this much and want you living with him if he didn't love you.  No way.  I don't care how desperate you are, if you don't connect with someone, you just don't connect.  You can't force it.

That's sweet that he is trying to be romantic....but I feel you about ur ex...my situation is kind of different but yet all breakups are closely related...i advise don't treat your current bf as your ex...he is not your ex...it is always good to start with a new plate...yea ur ex hurt you but it IS NOT a GURANTEE that the next will.....even though i am giving u these encouraging words, i need to take heed as well...it is so easy to treat the next as your ex but harder to treat the next differently....i don't know if u opened to ur current about ur past and ur feelings about it but sometimes it is best....so that u can move on mentally....

hope this helps

* Visit my diary at inquistiveone7.mydeardiary.com and comment *

Thankx

[InquistiveOne7]

So are you guys actually living with each other now officially?

It could be just a phase, or it could be boredom...I'm not sure which one.  I mean, maybe this early on in the relationship you guys are acting too much like you are married.  I think that if I were acting like that so soon, I might feel a bit bored too.  But it is probably just a phase and something will happen that will make it exciting again.  Boredom does come in phases though, so don't expect it to last.

Aw I think that is really adorable! 
And yes.  That movie is amazing!  I saw it twice in the first two days it was out and I want to see it again soon!!  We should meet up and see it lol.

altho it may not seem much of a big deal to u it is to him, dont take this the rong way i dnt mean to sound rude but going thru his stuff id askin for truble.

my b.f went thru my diary a wile bk and he had the cheek to have a go at me for the stuff that id writen in ther if he hadnt of gone in it in the 1st place there wudnt of ben the argument, i had nothing to be sorry for yeah i was sorry he saw the stuff he saw but that was down tohim.

u wud of reacted the same way if he had gone thru ur sruff even it was something small that he saw the fact is u went thru hes stuff once how can he trust u again he will fele that he cnt trust u not to go thru hes stuff. reassure him it wont hapopen again coz privacy is a big thing telll him ur sorry  goodluck xx

I'm so happy for you.  And hey, about marriage...I think that if you just know you know.  A big reason that things are different with him and you trust him so much is because he's here.  No matter how well you think you know someone, if it's just online, you don't know what the heck they do when they aren't talking to you, ya know?  I've been there and done that.  Not pleasant haha.  But now you know he is who he says he is and you know that he loves you for you, and everything about you-good and bad.  He sounds great.  I wanna see a picture of this guy and fast!!!

I miss you!

I'm so happy for you!!! YAAY!  Except the whole first thing.

I just think she's jealous of you.  Maybe it's not even that she has feelings for him or anything, she might just like attention and is mad that she isn't getting it.  Eh who knows.  We've discussed this many times before haha.

Buuut yay!!!

I wouldn't take drunk words seriously, considering you're saying yourself you don't even know if you completely feel it. It could be the same on his side.
=)

Well this is a sweet and happy entry!  Yay!!  Maybe him telling you the other day that you were rushing it, was his way of telling you that he was too scared to meet your family and didn't want to seem like a little boy by admitting that to you.  Because if he really felt that way, he wouldn't be having you meet his family.  So yeah.

You aren't rushing things at all with wanting him to come to have dinner with your family.  I mean seriously.  I made Tim have dinner with my family the first day we were dating!! lol.  But it really isn't a big deal...it is odd though that he thinks that it is rushing things when you guys are having sex, ya know?  I just am a little confused now on what his idea of rushing things are.

You should take some control.  Go for controlling people!  Woo!  But seriously, I think your emotions are just outta control since this is a "real boy."  Which I TOTALLY understand because I've been there lol.

The whole crying because your happy after...yeah I've been there lol.  I know what you mean.  And I don't think he was saying he didn't want any loving.  I think he just thought that the moment was perfect and he didn't want to ruin it by speaking.  If he felt the other way he probably wouldn't have even bothered cuddling, ya know?

I think he sounds really freaking sweet!!  Has he said that he loves you yet? 

aww

how good!

xx

This whole thing is just so messed up!  Let's hope she isn't just being childish since you are family and this would be ridiculous to be upset over...but again it would suck if she were right!!  Ugh.

Like I said earlier, how horrible would it be for her to know he was a jerk but tell you that you guys were perfect for each other!  I mean geeze.

Ughhhh.

And I got your message and I was asleep...and it made me laugh...a lot :-P

I love the tattoo..

Its pretty awesome.
-Cassie

That tattoo is AMAZING.  I think it is beautiful, I can't wait to see it finished!!

See?? IT IS FATE!!!  Yay I'm glad you like him!

You are NOT, and I repeat NOT, a whore.  Not at all.  It's not like you are with every guy on the block.  And you were drunk.  I mean, as you know, that isn't the best excuse.  But you obviously weren't thinking very clearly. 

I hope you aren't pregnant.  That would be....very bad.  But maybe this will help you change your drinking habits.  Maybe?  I hope.

Your not a whore. You can't help things that are more of in the moment or if your drunk. I know what stuff like that. I'm not saying i'm a whore either i'm just saying you sound like a good person with good morals that just decided to go with the moment.

you're a girl...a woman right? If so, I think you're a little messed up.  women don't want to be bridesmaids..they want to be brides....:-)

If that's your dirty little secrect--that's not so bad

Such happenstance- I know exactly how you feel.

[sweetness_03]

I think the fact that you wish bad things upon those who have hurt you is what makes you and everyone else human.  I think that anyone who said they didn't think those things during AT LEAST one point in their life is a total liar.

It doesn't matter how you were raised.  You can't help how you feel about things and you can't help things that happen to you.  Things will work themselves out eventually.  Even though waiting around sucks.

I hope you find a job!!  I really really do.  Why did you quit Wal*Mart again?  Maybe you could get your job back?  Hm.

Well good luck.  I personally think that the army would suck hardcore.

I know that it is extremely hard to admit you are an alcoholic.  But you did admit it-at least to us.  And I think admitting it is extremely amazing progress for you.  Going to rehab isn't being a failure!!  It is exactly the opposite!  Going to rehab would mean that you are NOT going to be like that for the rest of your life.  That you aren't going to let it ruin you.  It would mean you weren't going to let yourself become a failure.  People aren't going to look at you and thinkg "Oh she went to rehab because she is a loser who drinks too much."  They are going to be proud of you for taking the step to better yourself.  I would be really proud.  There is not one thing bad that can result out of you going to rehab.  The worst that can happen is that it doesn't effect you and you would be stuck where you are now.  In that case, it's not like anything would be lost.  If I could, I would drag you to an AA meeting myself and I would sit through it with you.  I would sit through all of them with you if you felt like you needed someone to support you.  You can do it.  I know you can.  You are NOT your dad.  You don't have to become him.  You have a choice.  A big choice.  And you are the only one that can prevent you from becoming him.

I love you Mel!  I don't want to see you like this.  And I don't want you to get liver cancer and end up dying because of this.  It doesn't have to be that way.

You should come to live in the "oh so exciting" state of West Virginia.  You can live in my closet so my mom doesn't find out :-)

I know what you mean about wanting a fresh start.  I want that more than anything.

I was online Sunday but I didn't even see your mobile up!  :-(  Aw manz

I wish we lived near each other.  Then I would totally be hanging out with you until you got annoyed and ran away from me haha.

I know what you mean though.  I mean, I know I have Tim, but a lot of times I wish I had a girl friend or someone.  I have friends...but none that I can really tell everything to.  I wish we could hang out.

Oh Mel.

You are NOT pathetic!  Not at all.  You are just still heart broken.  You really really love him.  I know.  I'm glad you are staying strong and not calling though.  See?  You are making some progress. 

Thanks for the advice. I like to take in many points of view, including those from people younger than me! Everyone sees things differently and I like that. It helps, so thanks again.

sounds like this Steve guy really likes you. If you don't think you like him in the same way, I would let him know that (in a casual manner) before too long. That way he can't say you led him on or anything. Just a thought.

I got on aim JUST to see if you were on.

You aren't.

So I signed off.  And I want to talk to you so bad!  I miss you a lot!

Oh dear, how i've missed you! How have you been?
Oh love, im sorry to hear your struggling with alcohol, its never easy.
Especially the feeling it gives you like your the most beautiful, perfect person in the world.

Hoping you are well.

<33

Yay for lists!  Yay for robbing cell phone stores!! 

I know what you mean about feeling one way at a certain time and feeling another during another day.  I think it's pretty normal.

Guess what??  I'm getting a phone on May 26!  So this will be a good day for us.  I haven't been home much, which is why I haven't commented in the past couple of days when you updated.  And I'm sorry for that.  I read all the new entries.

And you know...I don't care about you because I have too.  I care about you because you are amazing and I love you!